The Herd Mentality of Baby Boomers

Posted on 29 June 2011 by Larry Russwurm

How many baby boomers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A herd.

Why did the baby boomer cross the road?

Because another baby boomer did.

What do you call a lone baby boomer?

Nonexistent.

I can feel the collective cringing of all marketers everywhere. ‘Don’t make fun of the baby boomers, they’re the most powerful group in the world.’

But baby boomers don’t outnumber everyone else. Combined, everyone else outnumbers the baby boomers. I refuse to be intimidated.

Besides, what are the baby boomers going to do? Not buy any more of my free posts? Soon they’ll all have walkers and canes, what are they going to do, march on Washington?

Maybe they’ll march on me. March on my city of Kitchener. Then do you know what will happen? There’ll be so many baby boomers (seriously, do they have one mind?) that resources in my city and area will be stretched an incredible amount. Suddenly a Toronto size city would be here – a leech on all of Kitchener’s resources. It’ll be a logistical nightmare.

Which gets to my point. I think baby boomers should be renamed the less flattering ‘logistical nightmare’. That’s what they’ve been their whole lives. From the extra room in nurseries when they first began, to portables in all the schools they attended, to an unbridled killing herd at a Who concert, to having everyone cater to them as adults (remember the show ’30 something’?) to the new expansions at retirement homes and eventually at nursing homes, the baby boomers have been one logistical nightmare after another.

Their brag for many years has been they really changed the world. Not all generations have been so arrogant. Previous generations just called big changes ‘progress’.

I’m sick, sick, sick of all the media attention the baby boomer generation gets. So here I am today frustrated, and maybe some of you think I’m spitting into the wind. But if I hit even a small fraction of the herd of the baby boomer – make that logistical nightmares – I’ll be happy. As far as I know no one has even tried to push back against the herd mentality of these logistical nightmares. Well that ends today. I hope my lame jokes spread. Remember, you unsure marketers, everyone else outnumbers the baby boomers.

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E’en Ste’en

Posted on 25 June 2011 by Larry Russwurm

^^How’s that for a poetic title? Of course Ste’en is the poetic contraction for Stephen, as in Stephen Harper – prime minister of Canada (I know – not a very poetic topic). Alright, I admit it, I forced the title. Just because I came up with it and thought it was cute.

Our first topic about Stephen is really about other people. In earlier posts I mentioned that some racist jokes can be changed to be about the leader. As in “ What’s the difference between Stephen Harper and a bucket of excrement?” The answer of course being “The bucket.” Or it was said in another post, to voice the ultimate insult say “You’re such a Stephen Harper!” Make sure to use a derisive tone of voice because Canadian conservatives might not think this is an insult. And finally I “rescued” a blonde joke by asking “How did Stephen Harper’s staff know he tried to fix a mistake on the computer?” “They found white out on the screen.”

Despite my use of Stephen Harper over and over again, just remember that other leaders could be similarly insulted. Don’t forget CEOs. For instance former Tim Horton’s CEO Don Schroeder got a severance package of about 6 million dollars. While the vast majority of Tim Horton staff make minimum wage. For a 40 hour work week over a year, that’s about $20 000. Deride Mr. Schroeder for making 300 times the average employee’s wage at one fell swoop.

Do I need to tell you to make other leaders the butt of jokes and insults? What about your boss? Your union leader? Your school council? Your teacher? The head of your department? The list goes on and on. Just make sure you don’t get fired or expelled while doing so.

And I am especially remiss in not suggesting the Queen as the butt of jokes. Being the titular head of Canada she needs some jokes at her expense. Jokes might bring her down to earth and have Canadians realize the complete uselessness of this level of government. Maybe we would once and for all shed the monarchy.

Then I could stick my tongue out at my American cousins and say “Nyeah, nyeah, we did it without a war.”

But back to Stephen. Some of you may remember my post here where I in effect said that Stephen Harper would not win a majority government because visually he does not look like a walking, talking caricature like the last three majority government winners of Canada (Pierre Trudeau, Brian Mulroney and Jean Chretien). This was too simplistic a view and obviously I was wrong since Harper won his majority government.

Finally I had a breakthrough last week when I passed the statue of William Lyon Mackenzie King in front of the high school of KCI in this, the city of Kitchener. Mackenzie King was normal looking, too, and yet he is the longest serving prime minister with many majority governments. It’s his character that seems like a caricature of a Liberal. He was a popular flake. His popularity is evidenced by his many governments. His flakiness is evidenced by his penchant to hold seances.

Then it hit me. Prime Minister Stephen Harper is a caricature of a Conservative. He is such a corporate stooge that his government tabled legislation to make the striking postal workers go back to work at a pay that was less than what Canada Post had offered. “I’ll take that corporate agenda and add union busting for fun,” Harper might as well of said.

So Harper has proved that he’s a human caricature. It’s just that it is his character that is the caricature.

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The 20th Century Showed that Genocide can be Common

Posted on 22 June 2011 by Larry Russwurm

First there was the Armenian genocide that started in Turkey during World War I. Then there was the obvious genocide of the European Jew done by Hitler and the Nazis during World War II. Then in the early ’90s there was the Bosnian genocide on Bosnian Muslims committed by Bosnian Serbs. Then there was the Rwandan genocide which saw the Tutsis killed by the Hutu majority, also in the ’90s.

The term genocide is relatively new. It came about in 1944 as Jewish people struggled to say what had happened to them in Europe. And ever since the end of World War II it has taken its status as the worst kind of crime that humans could commit.

But see how common it was? The Armenian one is especially illuminating because it was swept under the rug, denied, or was thought of as just another transgression of a majority toward a minority. I’m thinking that this attitude existed in many societies over the centuries and millennia. Many attempted or successful genocides may have happened.

This might sound like a wild accusation against humanity, after all things like this became more likely in the 20th century with mass production and personal identifications.

But I’d like to go way back. How come only one type of man made it into history and all the others were lost in prehistory? There was Homo Habilis, Homo Ergaster, Homo Erectus, Homo Heidelbergensis and Homo Neanderthalis. All were wiped out by either us (Homo Sapiens) or by a species we wiped out. Genocides happened in the prehistoric world, too. That’s what 20th century history tells me about the past.

But by not developing written history our ancestors were even smarter than us at sweeping genocide under the rug. Of course our ancestors almost blew it. Homo Floresiensis was recently discovered to have lived as recently as 13 000 years ago. 8 000 years ago was the date of some of humanity’s earliest recorded writing although some cave paintings as old as 20 000 years ago are thought to be symbolic.

So humanity is an experienced pro at genocide. You may feel smug – “I’m in too large a group to be persecuted that way” you might think. But remember, there is blurriness in the Jewish Holocaust. Was the genocide because of their ethnicity or was it because of their beliefs?

Men. Wiping out other men since the genus Homo first began.

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You’re Not Rich, Quit Voting Like You Are

Posted on 18 June 2011 by Larry Russwurm

This is a problem that emanates from the United States but has also crossed the border into my country of Canada. The problem is that a large portion of the electorate vote for reforms that are especially good for the rich of the country. These policies are not so good for the poor or the middle class but even though this group outnumbers everyone else they vote the pro rich policies in.

I think a large portion of the electorate believes that the right attitude will make them rich. I think they are delusional. The vast majority will never be that rich, it happens every generation. Positive thinking is not enough to get you there.

Let me first state that you don’t need the permission of the rich to become rich. Indeed if you were to meet on a superlative golf course with your favourite financial wizard to discuss your business idea that might get you to their standing, I bet you might be heard.

Your rich wizard will probably ask you questions like why and even agree to meet to discuss it further. Then when they know your business program well enough they’ll cut you out and do it themselves.

Now you can probably find business wizards who would deny this. Of course they deny it because they want you to have confidence in them.

But the fact of the matter is, you don’t need the permission of rich people to be rich – instead you need society’s permission.

I once thought of writing a story where “spot inflation” occurs in society. You see, the mega wealthy live in tiny enclaves that it would be easy to surround and let very little in or out. (You’re thinking helicopter – don’t forget the rest of society pays for something called the military). You could tax food and necessities for these areas at thousands or millions of times the worth of the products. Sure the rich would go on a firing spree to find people to dare crossing the line. But everyone fired could be hired by the spot inflation people. The line would be strengthened further.

And most of economics is based on belief. Paper currency is no longer backed by gold. Just the government. Bonds are backed by the institution or corporation that put them out. Many times these corporations and institutions failed to back them and the bonds became worthless. Company stock can be made worthless, too.

I state it again. Society permits certain people to be rich or not.

Did you hear the political lie over the last few years that letting the mega rich keep more money leads to jobs?

I don’t know about you but the fastest way to make money get back into the economy is by giving it to poor people. Give all the poor $100 more and watch it go back into the economy almost instantly. The rich will invest to make more money. Like buying up coffee crops when that occupation is in surplus growth and then saving the surplus till coffee yields are scarce. Then while the price is up the rich can sell their sat on coffee at a big profit. Notice that nothing gets done with this money for years and it thus doesn’t get back into the economy for years. The rich person might have to pay for storage over the time of this scheme,, but that needn’t take place in this country.

Not to mention the propensity of the rich to invest in foreign markets. And when you have all the world to play with, the domestic market only rarely seems good.

And then there is my favourite scam of the mega rich – portraying themselves as an expert in the stock market. Then buying certain stocks. Then on a stock talk show giving the buy signal for the stocks they just bought. Then watch the public improve their investments. Then later they can sell these stocks. After they’ve sold them, they can tell their followers to sell. Look at the small risks they’ve incurred and the potential for their followers to make them lots of money.

Stop believing so strongly in the mega rich. They’re just out to make a buck and the easiest target is you. Please don’t vote the way they want you to vote.

And I know one sure thing. You’ll get the message if I ever become rich.

And then I’ll never get to do the stock picking thing.

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Stanley Cup Strike

Posted on 16 June 2011 by Larry Russwurm

A strike by the refs is exactly what I thought I was watching for the last game of the playoffs. Last night Boston defeated Vancouver to win the Stanley Cup, but it was the officiating that made me angry, not the play.

For the first half of the game, no penalties were called. If you’ve ever seen an NHL game you know there are usually about 5 – 8 penalties at about this point. Indeed in the whole game only 3 penalties were called.

I think when the hosts on CBC discovered this, they then delighted to show each would-have-been penalty. Through the game they must have shown 8 penalties that would ordinarily cost a team two or more minutes being down by a player.

This “let the player’s play” attitude may have been costly to Vancouver. After all, each hockey club has special teams precisely for penalties. And Vancouver’s power play is mighty, but they only got to use it twice last night.

When a paid member of an organization like the NHL does a bare minimum of their job, it is called a work slow down. That is precisely what the refs in last night’s game did. It is a form of strike, thus my title.

Also, such a strategy is dangerous to the NHL. The NHL gets away with various assaults by its millionaire players precisely because they say they police themselves. Well without the refs calling things, you can say goodbye to that lie.

But that’s okay. I wouldn’t mind seeing police arrest millionaire NHLers. Of course cities with teams would have to pay more taxes to the police services. But if that’s the way we want to go then it’s okay.

Then there’s the way the rules were the same all the way through the season and even the playoffs. Till the very last game, an important winner-take-all affair, when the way the game was played suddenly changed.

I dabble in fiction writing. What if I were to write a nuts and bolts detective story? The detective hero dutifully tracks down clues in a murder or other important crime. The hero tracks down one clue after another that leads to a blind alley. You’re intrigued to find all clues led to nothing and there’s only 5 pages left in the book.

Then I spring it on you that the detective is really an alien with excellent telepathic abilities. He found it intriguing to try sleuthing the human way. But he gives up and just reads everyone’s mind and uncovers the killer.

Would you throw this book or movie across the room in anger at this cheat of an ending? Many would. This is exactly what I felt after watching the officiating in last night’s Stanley cup Final. I felt like the refs cheated me.

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One Possible Reparation for a Genocide

Posted on 15 June 2011 by Larry Russwurm

The Armenian genocide doesn’t quite get the respect it deserves. Firstly, almost all Turks are Armenian genocide deniers. Secondly, after the bigger (and more obvious to the west) Jewish holocaust, not much is spoken about the Armenian trials. The newer Rwandan and Bosnian genocides get more attention just because they are newer.

So Armenians struggle for attention in this area that probably defined their society in the aftermath of World War I. I think it’s time we gave Armenians some respect for what has happened to them.

Naming can be a respectful kind of thing. It’s common to name a baby after someone important to the parents’ lives. What new things do we have to name in current society?

It’s not so long ago that star Gliese 581 was detected to have planets near or in the habitable zone of that star.

Perhaps we could start naming habitable zone planets names that are reminiscent of Armenian words or names. How about we name such worlds Kardash, Sarmaze, Trevane, Sarkis or Alexane?

And if we develop big enough telescopes, that can identify the content of these planet’s atmospheres, I vote that the very first one we find that has free oxygen be named planet Armene. Such telescopes are currently predicted to come on line somewhere in mid century.

Now that would be a unique reparation for the genocide. Of course this idea loses some of its sparkle outside of the English language. If the naming occurs, I think Earth should carry on in the slow process of the English language becoming the universal language.

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Rock Star Early Warning System

Posted on 11 June 2011 by Larry Russwurm

“Look up in the sky…”

“It’s a bird…”

“It’s a plane…”

“No, it’s a rock star in a private jet!”

The above, almost superhero like treatment, begins to reflect some of the high esteem rock stars in the mid 1980’s were held in by the public.

Bob Geldof really started the ball rolling with the Band Aid song “Do They Know It’s Christmas-time” when the proceeds of said record went to aid starving people in Ethiopia. This was followed up by Live Aid – simultaneous concerts held around the world for the same cause of Ethiopia.

Geldof was inspired to help Ethiopia because of some footage on the plight of that country broadcast by the BBC. He got the message out and the help of all the musicians considerably lessened the suffering in Ethiopia during that famine. This was the first big use of the ‘rock star early warning system’ we have gotten to know over the years.

‘Rock star early warning systems’ have also helped out in Live 8 and with other celebrities in the recent Haitian earthquake and the Indian Ocean Boxing Day tsunami.

I’m sorry to say that my belief that there was a ‘rock star early warning system’ made me complacent. I thought others would alert me if something like starvation was happening on the earth somewhere. I was wrong.

I thought that the Geldofs of this world had made it impossible for famine to kill people. The way the Ethiopian crisis was diverted. Not so. I’m sorry to find that I’m way late to the game. I found out from this recent article that there was a famine in Malawi in 2002 that killed thousands.

What did the developed world do to avert this? Precious little. In fact, from the article linked, an arm of the developed world might have caused it. What did rock stars do? Well in 2006 and 2009 Madonna adopted Malawi children.

Maybe it was the genocides of the 1990s that hardened our hearts. The world seemed very less friendly and perhaps we steeled ourselves for bad things to happen, instead of working to divert them.

I think we can bring back the gains we had made in the eighties and make sure there are no more killer famines. Maybe we won’t have the novelty of the eighties going for it but many rock stars live more than comfortably in this world. They can at least try to be that early warning system that so many of us desire. I know I’ll listen and I bet I’m not so different than many other people. I want a working rock star early warning system.

I know some of you are thinking that I should just follow the news to keep at or further ahead than these rock stars. But I thought I was keeping abreast of things in 2002. I didn’t hear the Malawi story in my regular news. And now there’s less “normal” journalism. I believe blogs are trying to replace what has disappeared but it’s hard to keep abreast of all blogs everywhere. Maybe the ‘rock star early warning system’ can shine light in the right places. I think this type of charity should begin with famine – the world doesn’t have low crop yields everywhere at the same time – i.e. we can and should heal that first – it’s just supply routing which can be cured by money.

And if you’re worried about Haiti’s earthquake still, here’s Wavin’ Flag and here’s We Are the World 25. Links can be found for donation. They aren’t original hits but effort was put in. Although the Japan earthquake/tsunami/nuclear accident is more recent, Japan is a developed country and has it’s own stars to collect and a government and corporations in a position to reinvest in stricken areas.

And there’s me and you who can point out the important. Tweeting, blogging and other electronic means are becoming important. Look how fast the uprisings in the Arab world came about and spread across many borders. Still artists know how to play on emotions. Or perhaps I’m still stuck in the mid eighties with my idea of a rock star early warning system.

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Liberal Vagueness Might Still Exist for Alternating PMs

Posted on 8 June 2011 by Larry Russwurm

It begins with a simple fact. Federal Liberal leaders since 1887 have alternated between French and English Canadians. That’s 124 years of history. That has changed this year.

With the drubbing the federal Liberals took in the last federal election earlier this year, they have been reduced to taking extreme measures. For the first time ever, they have taken Bob Rae as their next political leader. Just a month ago they were led by Michael Ignatieff, another English Canadian.

The streak is officially over. Or is it?

By this political article, I offer proof of the 1887 stat as well as the idea further in the article that not all federal Liberals believe that the alternation between French and English leaders was tradition. That’s right, despite the 124 year history, Liberals could still insist that it was merit that led to an interesting ‘tradition’.

The alternation may seem a bit unfair to those who know the makeup of Canada. French speaking Canadians make up only ¼ of the present population of Canada. ¾ are English speakers. The fairness comes about because federal political leaders need to be fluent in both official languages of Canada. The majority of French speakers are bilingual and only a minority of the English speakers can claim the same.

But in a way, the Liberals might still continue the tradition. You see, Bob Rae took the leadership under exceptional terms. This time, the leader of the party must rebuild. As such Rae agreed to such terms that as leader he will never run for prime minister of Canada.

So, for the first time ever, a leader of the Liberal Party of Canada will not be allowed to run for the highest office in this country.

If the next leader is from French Canada, then the Liberal party can brag that every nominee for prime minister from the party since 1887 has alternated between French and English Canadians.

The Liberal Party of Canada – taking vague tradition to the extremes.

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Is Phys Ed Where Cliques Begin

Posted on 3 June 2011 by Larry Russwurm

I suspect this happens in most organized physical education classes in schools across the continent. You know, the attempt early on, for physical education teachers to give some of their responsibility to some of the kids. Did you ever see these teachers pick two good athletes from the class and get them to choose teams?

The two good athletes were evenly matched and in a desire to win, the teacher made these kids take turns and assumed in an effort to pick the next best players, would pick evenly matched teams. Of course every time this happened, it would prove embarrassing for the last few students to be picked. Of course these Phys. Ed. teachers would let this happen many, many times.

In my experience, this picking process happened in every grade as far back as I can remember. Roughly grade 1 to when I could get rid of intellectually unchallenging phys. ed., in grade 9. Oh you have got it right, why would I bring all this up unless I was one of the last to be picked?

Teachers paid lip service to making things fair. But even though they mixed up the two players chosen to pick the teams, they never strayed far from the top players. I should know. From grade 1 to grade 8 there were only about 24 kids in my grade – my school was that small. That’s about 12 boys. So if you were one of the last picked, you were always one of the last picked.

And every year, we would have a new phys. ed. teacher. Couldn’t one of them, any of them break the mould? In 9 years of phys. ed. I never once got to pick a team.

Did the teachers think we were physically stupid and could not pick a good team? Trust me, if I and one of the other low ranking players got to pick, the teams would be just as evenly matched. Or perhaps we could take our chance for revenge and pick the other lesser players. Which would end up in the two teams again being evenly matched. Or maybe we could just pick our closest friends. Which might have the horrible repercussion of being fun for the kids. What were all those conformist teachers afraid of?

If this part of old tyme phys. ed. was beyond changing, why don’t we spread some of the effects into other parts of the school system?

Perhaps we could make a point of handing back tests in the order of what score was received. One by one we would find out who was last and thus should be most embarrassed. Wouldn’t this be fun, every time, like clock work, for every test from grade 1 to high school?

Maybe the two kids with the highest marks could pick teams and maybe debates could occur. Wouldn’t this result in some out of the box thinking – imagine, boys might pick girls and girls might pick boys to ensure a victory for their debating team. And you know, I think it might be proper to bench some of the worst debaters on either team on occasion. They could cheer their teammates on. And if some of these cheerers were the best at sports, well then so be it.

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Anchored in Past Tense

Posted on 29 May 2011 by Larry Russwurm

The first thing I thought as I perused my sister Laurie’s draft of her novel Inconstant Moon was that it was unfortunately in present tense. ‘Why is this unfortunate?’ you might ask, and I would tell you that I immediately thought that she would make many mistakes and slip into past tense.

But I kept reading the draft and never found a slip up. I was expecting a slip up because years earlier I had made my first and only attempt to write a story in present tense. I failed. In only a novelette length of story, I slipped into past tense and back into present tense many times. I discovered from this exercise that I am firmly mired in using past tense. It’s how I naturally think and I have the overwhelming examples of almost every novel I’ve read to thank for this. I can intuit the proper phrasing in past tense, something I find hard to do in present tense.

And I wanted very much to succeed at writing present tense. If I could do it properly, I would be ambitious and try something out in future tense, something I’ve never seen before although it is possible in English.

I want to write future tense for the simple reason that I write science fiction almost exclusively. And the vast majority of my work takes place in, you guessed it, the future. I feel incapable of ever meeting this goal after my poor attempt at simpler present tense. So it was a surprise that my sister was not only capable of present tense, she wrote it well. If you wish to see her suspense novel, Inconstant Moon, she is serializing it under a Creative Commons Licence here.

So, today, I am left wondering why almost all of science fiction is written in past tense. It is incredibly ironic.

I’m reminded of the phrase “future history” that many science fiction authors use when discussing their work. I think it is an attempt at verisimilitude that future stories say they are rooted in history. The appearance of being real is achieved by using the ‘fact of the history’.

Or, in past tense, being real is achieved by the ‘fact of the past’. This is my excuse today. If I never write a story in future tense, I can just say “It’s all for the verisimilitude.” It’s nice to have a rationalization for your faults.

Posted in Announcements, Language, Science Fiction, SF Criticism, Wee Bit O' Humour, Writing | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments