Take a Look But Don’t Touch

Any cursory glance at the mass media might tell you that the most attractive women have three traits. One, they’re thinner than average women. Two, they have larger breasts than the average woman. And three, their muscle tone is less obvious than the average woman’s.

You might counter that muscle tone example with Madonna and Kelly Ripa. But really, these two ladies became muscular after they were already famous.

Indeed the media delights in showing women who are examples of all three traits in sitcoms and movies. But really, can the three traits become more exemplary than even Barbie or a Playboy model?

Well yes they can. Women that are even more exemplary of this style are confined to their bedrooms. Why? Because they cannot get up, being so thin, so busty and so lacking in muscle tone.

I’m sure that the media has been dying to portray these women in movies or sitcoms, they just haven’t come up with the proper excuses.

Perhaps all that has been missing is an excuse for a male protaganist to end up in the bedroom of a suitable female. Well let’s just speed things up for Hollywood. *Crash* a suitable female’s window has been broken by the protaganist’s baseball.

“I’m so sorry,” goes the protaganist, “ Hubba, hubba,” he says as he enters the woman’s bedroom.

“I’m so sorry about the bedhead that begun in puberty and is still here in my less creepy early twenties,” says the suitable female.

“Hubba, hubba,” continues the male lead. “Huge breasts, scrawny frame, no semblance of muscle tone…”

“You realize that I’m far too weak and fragile for any type of sex, whatsoever?

“And if you want to get close in any shape or form, you’ll have to clean me and dress me and wash me and burp me and be ever so careful at all of this because it might wreck me.”

“Hubba, hubba.”

“Perhaps we have the eunuch slave that my parents have dreamed about since the onset of my puberty.”

“Hubba, hubba?” Perhaps the protaganist has entered into something he doesn’t quite know how to leave.

About Larry Russwurm

Just another ranter on the Internet
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