Stupid Pets

My cat is curled up on the bed right now. So I take it as a free moment to clean the house a bit.

Now my cat has seen me sweep lots of times. I feel that at this point, I should be able to tie the dust pan broom to her tail and send her on the way to sweeping the floor. But this never works.

You see all cats play dumb. They’ve been setting us up all their lives. Cats can’t be herded. You’re lucky if you manage to train your cat for one thing. And, just like their dog cousins, they have made it known that they definitely won’t vacuum. Cats aren’t scared of 300 pound humans or large dogs. But a vacuum sends them cowering?

Cats allegedly clean themselves. But does this mean they clean their scat? Of course not. Rare is the person who manages to get their cat to go on the toilet. So rare in fact that we might as well ignore it.

I think at this point we might as well say it. Cats are playing dumb so they never have to clean.

I remember my ungrateful self as a kid knowing I never had to clean. I would be upset when my mother made me lift my legs when I was sitting and she was vacuuming around me. I think pets are that ungrateful.

Dogs and other pets are just as ungrateful. Dogs have even suckered humans into believing they try to please. If this were truly the case they would help clean.

So stop feeling guilty for vacuuming around cats, dogs and ungrateful kids. They all could do their share but don’t. Stupid Pets.

About Larry Russwurm

Just another ranter on the Internet
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