NaNoWriMo Winner

Posted on 1 December 2012 by Larry Russwurm

This is going to be a non humourous, self congratulatory post. You see, this year I entered the NaNoWriMo (National Novel Writing Month) contest. In my last post before November began, I outlined my strategy of trying to write a set of short stories rather than a novel and my writing goal each day would be to complete one computer page (approximately 600 words or 2 paperback pages).

But my sister Laurel L. Russwurm (Now a 3 times NaNoWriMo winner) suggested that I at least try the 1667 words per day. I had been hesitant to commit because even though I’ve written off and on for 15 years my largest output in a day was 3 computer pages or basically the output I would have to do every day for NaNoWriMo. I agreed to at least start off with that as my goal.

The first and second day I succeeded both times and indeed tried to push myself even further writing 4 pages and 3 ½ pages respectively. I felt funny that second evening, like I was pushing myself too hard and that last page or ½ page seemed to take much longer per word. So for the rest of the contest I mostly did my 3 pages and left it at that.

So 3 pages was my goal and it actually works out to something like 2000 words. I only missed 3 days and finished a few days ahead of time. So I’m unexpectedly happy with my November output.

One final note. I still haven’t written a full novel. But I’ve heard of the mid novel lull where writers strain to put interesting things on the page. I missed this challenge by writing short stories. However I think the writing of short stories is just as hard because I had to restart 6 times and this beginning phase slowed down my progress by quite a bit. Next year I am going to try the novel. I have a novel in mind that is related to my short stories.

Congratulations to all the winners of NaNoWriMo and to all those people who have won just by participating.

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Pfizer Pfail

Posted on 25 November 2012 by Larry Russwurm

Pfizer’s patent on Viagra was pulled in Canada earlier this month. They were caught gaming the patent system by not fully disclosing what the invention was. The point of patents is to get the invention out in the open so at the end of the 20 year monopoly, society has gained.

 I brazenly cheered this news because I have had to put up with obnoxious advertising for Viagra for years. But it doesn’t stop there. Anyone with an email account has probably gotten Viagra spam. Especially us middle aged men. The third thing that has really bothered me was all the comment spam I get from this blog site. You are only too right in thinking that Viagra has spammed this site, almost from the very start, and often. So much so it made my comment blacklist at a very early date.

 So I am pleased to see Viagra earning less money. I am pleased to see Pfizer punished. But in all my cheering I forgot one thing.

 Now there are going to be 3 companies making generic Viagra. We are now going to see advertisements for Niagra. We are going to have more spam in our inboxes thanks to Viagara. Viagara Falls will flow into my comment spam causing a delayed reaction by me in blacklisting it. So for weeks or months I will have to wade through more spam until I figure out which companies are selling the generic Viagra with less obvious names than plays on the name Niagara.

 What most disturbs me about this case was that Pfizer won in two lower courts with such an obvious ruse. They probably paid for the best lawyers to extend their product’s monopoly to near the end of its term. So welcome to Canada where only 2 out of every 3 courts are crooked.

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Federal Conservatives Seriously Think About Changing Canadian Flag

Posted on 18 November 2012 by Larry Russwurm

Canada’s majority holding Conservatives are threatening to flex their political muscles again by changing the Canadian flag.

They hark back to the development of our current flag. Originally the two bars of red on the Canadian flag were going to be bars of blue to represent that Canada went from sea to sea or from the Atlantic Ocean to the Pacific Ocean.

The Conservatives have jealously kept a large presence up in northern Canada throughout Harper’s reign. They want to represent that by having the new flag show surrounding bars of blue representing Canada as being from sea to sea to C. That new flag design is shown below. Interestingly enough, the Conservative party symbol is a blue C with a red maple leaf in the centre.

Instead of fighting this party centric flag, the official opposition NDP have chosen to remind Canadians that orange maple leafs are just as common as red maple leafs. If we elect them into government we will have the same flag only it will be orange and white (as shown above) instead of red and white.

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Mice Can Sing

Posted on 10 November 2012 by Larry Russwurm

That title might not be news to you but for me recently it was. I grew up in an old farmhouse that mice came into when winter struck. Many mousetraps were set and later on we came to rely on a cat to keep the mouse population down. To me mice only sang in cartoon movies.

Those cartoons were partially right. They always have the mice singing in high voices. The science says this is wrong – mice sing at even higher pitches than that. They sing so high that human ears can’t hear it.

It’s been known for awhile that amorous male mice would serenade their ladies. But now they have found that it’s not just an instinctual piece, mice can modify their songs. And they sing outside of courtship, too.

Ever since learning this I’ve had a few questions. First, how come it took scientists so long to learn about all the skills of mice. Lab mice are everywhere in the biological world. Does this mean that scientists haven’t bothered learning about what’s right in front of them? Nice fellas those scientists. They’re a bit slow, though.

Cats and dogs can hear ultrasonic frequencies, too. Does this mean that all along they’ve been listening to mice songs? No wonder that cat will stare at a crack for hours. It might know a mouse is there because it’s singing.

Which makes me wonder. Cats try their best to kill songbirds and mice. Are they just being music critics? What do they really think about humans singing? Would the kill all of us except the good singers if they were bigger than us?

Then there is that pathetic mouse squeak. It is audible to human hearing. Is that so low for a mouse that it seems like a manly roar to those creatures?

And me? I’m still in shock that mice sing at all.

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UV

Posted on 4 November 2012 by Larry Russwurm

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NaNoWriMo or Something Like It

Posted on 31 October 2012 by Larry Russwurm

For those of you who don’t know, NaNoWriMo stands for National Novel Writing Month. You can find out more by typing nanowrimo.org into your browser or into a search engine. The month in question is always November and registering makes you eligible for small prizes, free support and motivation, and groups to befriend which can lead to buddy support.

Basically in November one attempts to write a novel (50 000 words -usually not quite big enough to be published as such). That means you must do a nose-to-the-grindstone 1667 words per day. It is my belief that some prizes should be offered to those few that will succeed. It is a tough proposition, especially when you consider most of those involved have jobs.

I am going to enter it for the first time this year. It’s just that I would like to make three qualifications for my entry.

First of all it is not National. I believe the organization started in the United States and I live in Canada. Our two countries have long had such things mixed up like in professional hockey or basketball organizations: the National Hockey League and the National Basketball Association. So it’s not surprising to see the mix up once again. But this time I think the NaNoWriMo involves many more countries.

Second in the name is the word Novel. Well I am not writing a novel this year. I am writing a handful of short stories and novelettes and, I believe, a lead off novella. That novella is called “The Fabrication” and this is what I entered for the title of my “novel”. There is time to fix it, yet., I could put in “The Fabrication and Other Stories”.

Thirdly is the Writing part of the name. I believe that what is implied by this word is “writing target”. To psych myself up for this event I told myself that all I had to do was write a computer page a day and I would then meet my own goal. A computer page is about 600 words so my target is roughly one third of the full target or 18 000 words. I actually changed my mind slightly. At the beginning of the month I’m going to try to get the full 1667 words. If I fall back to the 600 words it will still be a success. My goal was simply to get my butt in a seat every day so that I could have a half decently productive month. 600 words/day accomplishes this.

So I officially announce my participation this year in Mo. That’s not Movember but it could be. Hey maybe I should grow a moustache as a side benefit of this month. Happy Mo!

And because of my participation in Mo, I will only publish this blog once a week, on Saturdays throughout November.

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New Personalities in the Corporate Playground

Posted on 27 October 2012 by Larry Russwurm

It’s very old news that corporations have demanded the rights of people and largely gotten them. But what kind of personality does a corporation have? Many jurisdictions have said that shareholders rights must triumph over every other aspect of a corporation. This makes a corporation obsess about its bottom line. This is exactly like psychopath who always chooses what they think is best for themselves. So corporate culture or the corporate playground mentioned in the title is just a bunch of psychopaths interacting. We know humanity is sunk if we all become psychopaths. What does this say about the business world?

But recently, two new kinds of corporations have arisen. They are B corporations and benefit corporations. Because of the close ties, you might think that the B of B corporations could stand for benefit as in benefit corporations. But the world, as is, must realize a difference.

Both types of new corporations try to be of value, not just to the shareholders, but other stakeholders like employees and the community. This is laudable and it’s nice to see non psychopathic players in the corporate world.

The two new corporations differ in how they are set up. The B corporations must maintain standards set out by a third party. Only after they reach this third party standards are they given B corporation status. The benefit corporation is a legal definition. It exists in some jurisdictions. I think it came about as a shelter against laws that maintain the primacy of the shareholder. The corporation begins as a legal benefit corporation and thus the shareholders can’t say at a later date that they want to enforce the primacy of the shareholder. They knew going in that the company was a benefit corporation.

I’m hoping that both type of new corporation can expand their market share and numbers. We keep getting told in capitalism that we can vote for products and services with our money. It’s just that previously meant we only had a choice between psychopaths. This helps democratize our capitalism.

Also, human society wouldn’t be able to function with a majority of psychopaths. Hopefully non psychopathic corporations like B and benefit corporations will become the majority. Then at last the business world wouldn’t be so treacherous.

At the link is a finder such that if you enter your country or province or state you might find some local B corporations. Benefit corporations exist only in jurisdictions that have passed legislation. This Wikipedia article shows the US states that have enacted the legislation.

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Balls

Posted on 24 October 2012 by Larry Russwurm

Panel 1: Mike: Jacques, who do you think has more balls, me or John Johnson Jr. ?

Panel 2: Jacques: Well let’s see, you each have exactly two balls, but …

Panel 3: Jacques showing his full body with Xmas balls: … I on the other hand have more balls than 5 men!

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Loopholes for the No Nose Picking Rule

Posted on 20 October 2012 by Larry Russwurm

It was a few years ago when it finally dawned on me that “Hey,” all the people with nose rings, nose studs and other such piercings had found a loophole to the no nose picking rule. Of course they have to pick their noses when they put in these piercings or take them out. I especially would like to warn you about the person that changes their nose piercings daily. There is a highly visible yet secret society of nose pickers.

Now I’m a deep thinker so recently I came up with other loopholes to the no nose picking rule.

The first one is obvious and necessary. More horrible than knowing a person picks their nose is trying to be around them when they have a booger hanging in their nostril. I’ve tried saying nothing but it always grosses me out enough that I have to tell them. The classy people with boogers immediately go to the washroom and pick the booger out, making sure to wash their hands after such a foul act. Classy or not, a nose has been picked.

The next two loopholes are related. One can become a medical doctor and thus be made to pick other peoples noses for medical reasons or if the patient just plain shoved something too big up their nose. I have nieces and nephews and now know that this is common amongst little ones. The other loophole is when one becomes a scientist and investigates some of the things nasal, like the sense of smell, pheremone research and allergy or cold studies. These loopholes might be a problem for those of you who want to pick your own nose instead of the noses of others. Still, if one is desperate to get their own nose picked, one can jam something up their nose or enrol in studies like the aforementioned ones.

The next is a good loophole that works only if you are the right age. You can simply say when you are a toddler or a baby that you didn’t know the rule so you can’t have followed it. Also you could claim that you thought you couldn’t pick your nose since Uncle Bob says he’s got your nose all the time.

Finally you can say that you are an avant garde artist and that snot is your medium of choice for small sculptures or perhaps barely visible tracings on paper. When people question your art, you can say your pieces ask the question “What is art” and are therefore good for thinking society.

Just remember that creating with snot is just one short step away from creating with $#!+ . And some joker has already ruined that art loophole by saying that “The medium is the message.”

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Brazil

Posted on 17 October 2012 by Larry Russwurm

February 5, 2014 addition: It has come to my attention that most Brazilians find topless beaches to be crass. So I apologize for this cartoon in which I painted the whole nation.

Indeed, my country, Canada, has allowed women to go topless since the ’90s. This was seen as a woman’s rights issue when Gwen Jacobs took her top and bra off on a really hot day. In practice, however, no Canadian woman actually takes their top off in public unless they are breastfeeding. I heard stories of women asserting their rights in the nineties but being hounded by a gawking  horde of men nipped this in the bud.

Perhaps the joke could be made about Canada instead. You know something like “going topless in the Great White North puts the cans in Canada”. Feel free to make it into a cartoon.

 

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