Santa Stakeout

I did indeed stakeout the neighbourhood last night, just like I said I would last post. I had a chair, paper and a pencil and that promised red light flashlight. Most of the time I stood, though, because the chair was cold.

It was a long stakeout. I went out just after 10 p.m. because I figure that’s when kids are put to bed. I was out for hours and was getting a bit cold although dressed very warmly. However, what made me go in for a few moments was the fact that I had to go to the washroom. I rushed inside and into the washroom but I still almost missed Santa. What I saw when I came out I’ve copied to this blog below.

What I saw agreed with what my friend Jerome Watson said! (last post)  The blobs pictured are, I think, flying reindeer lifting Santa’s sleigh and pulling it forward.  The reddish glow I think is Rudolph and the big blob being towed could be Santa in his sleigh.

Since the sleigh and everything else left really quickly, I didn’t get to see them in action delivering gifts. But this is how Jerome says it goes down. The reindeer are able to hover like a helicopter or a hummingbird and can gently lower the sleigh to a roof or the ground. This explains why Santa doesn’t make a huge clatter and wake everyone in the house.

Of course what I saw wasn’t definitive. I can’t be sure that the blobs were reindeer and Santa’s sleigh. But Jerome and I propose this alternate theory of Santa and his sleigh. Maybe one day we’ll be able to decide between our theory and the Standard Model of Santa.

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On Santa

Some years ago I traveled to Buffalo, New York with my Dad. While there, we went to a second hand shop. On the wall ( I forget if it was for sale or not) was an elaborate etching. I’ve crudely drawn the outline of it below. As shown it contained Santa and all his reindeer and the simple point “If Reindeer could fly…”

Now I know a bit about engineering and mechanics and the etching was correct. If Santa’s sleigh were pulled by the reindeer in the ordinary fashion, this is exactly what would happen. There has to be another way. I’ve mentioned this to a few of my interested friends. The more science adept agree with the etching.

But one of my friends, Jerome Watson, suffers from insomnia and he claims to have seen Santa on Christmas Eve one year. He says that the Standard Model of Santa’s sleigh being pulled by reindeer is incorrect. He told me how he saw it the one year. Now I’m not going to relay what he saw until after I’ve seen for myself. I don’t want to unfairly prejudice the public’s opinion.

On Christmas Eve this year, I will stay up for Santa’s arrival, There are a few kids in the neighbourhood and at least one of them must have been good. I will keep watch and hopefully sketch my results for you. Unfortunately I don’t have a camera that can shoot in the dark very well, so the sketch will have to do.

I’m an amateur astronomer so I’ve sketched things in the night sky before. I will use a red light flashlight which will allow my eyes to remain dark adapted. I will try to publish my findings on Christmas day.

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Happy Blogiversary

Today marks my first complete year of blogging. Like most bloggers I’m stat obsessed so let me share some with you.

I’ve written 82 posts. That’s one a week for the first half of the year then all the way up to two posts a week for the second half. I never thought at the beginning that I’d be able to put out two a week but here we are.

I get over 100 unique visitors a day. That’s been steadily increasing – it was much lower at the start of the year. In total I’ve garnered over 7500 unique visitors and with them got over 45 000 pageviews.

More interesting is to see which blog posts got the most views. With my stats the way they are, I can only name the top 3. They are “The Horny Shower Curtain”, “What I Don’t Like About Asimov’s 3 Laws of Robotics”, and “Theme Songs and Age of Shows”.

I knew there would be buzz about my take on Asimov’s 3 Laws of Robotics. It’s not every day that you find flaws in a set of short stories and books. But Asimov’s own success led to this, I came up with my problems without referring to an Asimov book or story. You see I had memorized the 3 Laws of Robotics. I was actually trying to see if I could extend or build upon them and found the flaws instead.

So I’m a bit surprised that The Horny Shower Curtain was the most popular of my posts. It’s not as totally original as one might think, I know I’ve heard the phrase “overly amorous shower curtain” before. I’d say where I heard it but I don’t remember that. If anyone knows please comment and I’ll post it. I added the correct reason for the ‘horny shower curtain’. It is indeed because of the partial vacuum in a shower. I forgot why this is so – I did a project on about 20 vacuum creating systems and machines and how they are measured – so many that I only remember a couple. But now we have the internet and I rediscovered the answer just a minute ago. The moving water moves the air and moving air is less dense than the air on the other side of the shower curtain. Which creates the partial vacuum. And no, I didn’t really ask all the people I said I did. I’m a firm believer that if a tree falls in the forest it does make a sound.

I’m most surprised that “Theme Songs and Age of Shows” is the third favourite post. I didn’t even draw a straight line graph for it though that was ‘drawn’ with words. Maybe people are captivated by the almost disappearance of the television theme song.

I can guess at the other most popular posts because I check my stats regularly. The No Name Decades, Not Novel and What Has Fair Trade Coffee Spawned were all in the top 3 at one point. Squealing on my Bacteria and Virus Overlords, Rap as Social Engineering, They’re Coming, I Believe in Astrology, Blast from the Past II, Playing With Bitstrips, And Some Think Hawking’s American Accent is Funny, Metallica’s “One” Not So Bleak, and Slackers are/were popular posts. So if you just want to navigate my “best of” that’s a good start.

I get rid of many comments with hardly a second thought. Most of these are spam. If you want your comment to make it, something as simple as mentioning part of the post makes it obvious that you are not spam.

When I started out, it was as a joke site. Set as my default category is “Humour”. But it was apparent very early on that some of the posts I meant and was really ranting about. Thus I added the category “Wee Bit O’ Humour”. So if I added as little as one joke, I could put the post here. Half my posts involve this newer category. What can I say? I grew into my blog name and am really ranting half the time.

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Two Thoughts

Maybe one day I will get into the Denting or Tweeting lifestyle. But so far my thoughts I’ve thought worthy of publishing to the world are too large for Twitter or even Identi.ca . So here are two thoughts that are too long for Twitter or Identi.ca, squeezed into a post.

Thanks to bald people, we are aware that facial expression covers all the seen parts of the face and neck – and not a square centimetre more.

I guess we are always to be kept in tune with what our contemporary humans are about. We need to see their emotion, possibly this could be life saving. We can find what is really important or at least important to the person displaying the emotion.

But evolutionarily, I think, we kept growing. Sometimes it wasn’t beneficial for all to know what we are feeling. For that reason, I think, men evolved beards to partially cover their faces and not let their emotions betray them so easily.

For this reason, I think bearded men are natural negotiators or poker players.

Maybe this inequality bothers humanity. Which could be why many men shave their faces completely.

Charles Dickens just went down 18 notches in my opinion. You see I just noticed there is a ghost of Christmas present. I never before got this two word pun.

Indeed it might be that the whole story, The Christmas Carol, was built up for the sole purpose of dispensing this pun to the world. Did I say 18 notches? Charles Dickens you’ve gone down 54 notches in my opinion.

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December

Alright, I’m mega years late to the party. I’ve known the song December by Collective Soul for ages but never knew all the words till I bought the CD on sale earlier this year.

Firstly December’s not like September where there are at least a handful of songs that mention this month in the title. The Collective Soul ditty is the only December mentioning song that I know.

But here’s what I now know is contained in the lyrics : “December songs no longer I sing”.

Because of what I stated earlier it can’t be songs that mention December in the title. Which leaves us with only one choice: they are referring to Christmas carols.

It doesn’t look like the band is overly bitter about the holiday – it just looks like their heart was trampled on in December.

But still I am slightly relieved to hear that. Why? Because it means that Collective Soul is not a Christian rock band. They toe the line rather close as “Shine” mentions heaven a lot and “The World I Know” seems spiritual. And then of course there is their religious seeming name.

Why should I care? Well I’ve seen them live and have enjoyed the music for years. I don’t mind the odd religious song from a good act, like say U2, or Supertramp,or XTC it’s just that I’m biased against completely Christian rock bands.

What a narrow focus if all the songs have some kind of religious purpose. It’s like writing all songs about being dumped by a redhead on Fridays. It’s so narrow it ceases to be entertainment to me. And it can’t surprise me.

Collective Soul, at least, surprised me with their anti Christmas carol stance even if it’s for only one song.

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The Key to Majority Government in Canada

Deep in the darkest recesses of Ottawa sits Stephen Harper, plotting his majority government and all the wonderful things he will do if he ever gets one. But I have news for you Mr. Harper. I have analysed the last 3 majority government leaders and have noticed one similarity between the 3 of them. You see Mr. Harper they are all easy to cartoon because they already look like caricatures. Below is my drawing of the three connected as they are by majority governments.

The head on the left is Trudeau who led for many years, in the middle is Chretien who had majorities for 3 terms and furthest right is Brian Mulroney who had two majorities. Or as I like to call them, What-the-bleep-is-that?, Twoface, and Chinosaurus. Successful politicians all and they are all easy to draw. Or for the public to easily recognize.

So ask yourself, Stephen Harper if you look like a caricature. Hint: I can make political cartoons but you I find problematic sometimes. These guys were a breeze to draw.

That’s right Stephen Harper, I predict only minority governments for you in the future. All thanks to my superscientific, new way to identify majority government prime ministers. You know Ignatieff does have those wicked eyebrows. I bet he’d be easy to cartoon.

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The Can of Worms – It’s Coming

Despite where things lie now, ranking of the rights of people is bound to occur. For instance we obviously do have some forms of age discrimination (retirement, age of majority) even though we shouldn’t according to our Charter of Rights. So discrimination by age is a lesser evil than other forms of discrimination.

What follows is the pertinent clause in the Canadian Charter of Rights.

15. (1) Every individual is equal before and under the law and has the right to the equal protection and equal benefit of the law without discrimination and, in particular, without discrimination based on race, national or ethnic origin, colour, religion, sex, age or mental or physical disability.

Not listed in the ‘in particular’ part is the more recent cause of sexual orientation. Canada now performs marriages of same sex partners to uphold this addition and it is now an assumed right.

I do approve of the future ranking of these “equal rights” because they are not equal to each other. But it’s going to take a hard, honest look to rank each one.

Let’s look at this list and find the weakest one. Every characteristic on this list is something that no matter how hard we try we cannot change. Except, of course, religion. This is a choice. There are many atheists who choose not to believe in anything and many agnostics who won’t put their foot in any camp. Still it might seem, somehow to some, that religion isn’t a choice. However, we regularly choose the religion of our parents. Or we often pick and choose the one closest to closely held beliefs of ours. More of the choice thing is apparent when men choose polygamy religions that agree with them having more wives or pro drug people choose a religion that allows for drugs to be used by members such as The Church of the Universe. Notice both choices are against the law – we haven’t and I don’t think can totally enshrine freedom of religion in our rights.

A physical or mental disablility demands recognition of a differently abled situation (Full disclosure: I have a mental disability). It is often times harder for the physically or mentally disabled to land a job. Because of this, social programs have to be tailored to acknowledge this unfair turn of events. Because this affects people before anything else is taken into consideration (national origin I’m looking at you – treatment of the disabled shouldn’t vary due to your old country treatment of the disabled) , I think this has to be prioritized as more important than some of the other rights.

So what about the classification of sex? It’s not as cut and dried as it might seem at first. There exist hermaphrodites which exhibit both male and female characteristics. Some are considered more female and some are classified as more male (I’m not going to get to the nitty gritty) but still there are some that are in the middle. Usually the choice is made soon after birth, whether to raise them as a male or female. Why should the parents get to choose? I say at least wait until puberty to find out what works or doesn’t. So here I am pro choice of the person affected. You and I know, however, that there are nation of origin, religious and age arguments to be brought into account. The conventional wisdom of today is that sex must be defined or they will be persecuted. The awkward ‘it’ might have to be used in English, but the French part of Canada would demand a sex assignation to keep the purity of the language. Why must it be defined? Surely the Charter of Rights can be given enough teeth in this instance to protect the rights no matter how differently sexed the child might be. Of course there is the distinct possibility that such a person might want to keep all its sexual characteristics and avoid any surgeries.

I have to admit that I’m surprised that fashion hasn’t taken a hit from people of varying ethnic origins. There’s the obviously unnatural state of saying that straight hair is in, or curly hair is, or that the tan is out. I’m surprised to see that colour contacts are still rare, despite other ethnic origin identifiers being routinely changed. I yearn for the day when I can see a yellow smiley face in one eye and a black eight ball in the other eye of the same person.

Inexpensive spray-on skin colours have yet to be developed that are accepted by fashion. A sneer accompanies the reaction to the so called natural looking, yet orange tans. Where is the proud to be orange movement? Ironically, the ‘natural’ human colours will be the first to become commonplace, although technologically ‘non-human’ colours came first.

Then there is the possibility that sex and sexual orientation might put things at odds. Say you’re a man who wants to be a woman, physically. What if you want to then, romance men? What if you want to, then, romance women? One could leave you with your lights punched out. The other could leave you with your lights punched out. Both ways, you’d hope the Charter of Rights would protect you.

I started this with the idea that I might be able to write a bit on this topic. This is twice the length I’d expected and I’m not even near done. I don’t even have a straight logical thread like I usually do for my pieces. It is a can of worms. What I really expect to happen is that all these topics will get into the courts. The courts will probably never say they’re ranking our ‘in particular’ rights, but in truth they probably will be. It’ll go as society goes, such as with assuming sexual orientation is as strong a right as the other rights of the Charter. Where this all will lead I don’t know but expect it to take up a lot of 21st century legal thinking in Canada.

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The Sister Wives Belong in Jail, Too

They just replayed the Oprah episode where she interviewed Kody Brown, his three wives and one girlfriend. This was one huge advertisement for the Sister Wives TV show on TLC and polygamy.

Oprah was trying to keep an open mind (I think that’s why she wasn’t asking tough questions) and the three wives, or sister wives (teehee what a cute name) seemed to be not controlled to do something against their will. So I guess in Oprah’s mind that made it fine.

And the people that the family knew could say ‘the Brown family is the polygamous family I know’ (teehee just like saying you know a gay family). So of course the Browns know monogamous families.

And one of the wives was let go from her job working for mental health when her employers knew about the show and thus her home life. So they face bigotry like any put upon group.

All this stuff is important because right now a trial is underway about the Bountiful, British Columbia polygamists to decide whether anti polygamy laws are valid according to the constitution.

When bigamy or polygamy is brought up everyone looks at the wives as the only possible victims. I say let’s look at the children.

Let’s say they treat the girls wonderfully. This is not the case with all polygamists but let’s say it’s true in these cases.

Let’s say the average in a polygamist community is to have 4 wives per husband. The children in healthy communities are split evenly between boys and girls. In populations as a whole there are usually slightly more women but that’s because women live longer than men.

For each boy to get his 4 wives that means 3 boys need to be run off. There is only one place for these boys to run to. Non polygamist communities.

How do these boys behave with one mother and ¼ of a father? And education in these polygamist communities sucks in general. So those boys that get run off are a problem for non polygamist communities. Not to mention they skew the boy girl percentage in those communities that are nice enough to take them in.

So those too-nice sister wives have created a bad scene for most of their sons. And that is why I think these sister wives belong in jail. Not as long as their husband, mind you, but still they should serve some time.

So polygamist communities need our monogamous communities to run their boys off to, but monogamous communities don’t need them. Indeed if polygamy actually gripped the entire world it would have to be by determining the sex of fetuses and aborting ¾ of the males (teehee the polygamists can survive as the only society thus proving naysayers wrong).

As for the freedom of religion excuse that these polygamists might bring up, I offer up next Saturday’s post where freedom of religion is the weak sister of all the constitutional rights.

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There’s a Fine Line Between Scientist and Supervillain

When you hear in the news that a meth lab or ecstasy lab has been busted you have to wonder who were the scientists that strayed into a criminal lifestyle?

This means that not every scientist sees their pay as being sufficient. Usually their pay is comfortable enough to put them in the upper middle class. And most scientists are satisfied and work on their prestige. There are a number of outlets for this, they could develop something new or untried, publish in journals, give the human race a better handle on this universe etc.

Some scientists don’t do this and instead go rogue. I’m just wondering why they don’t seem to go totally rogue.

You see if comic books have taught us anything it is that supervillains are commonly scientist inventors. Lex Luthor, Dr. Sivana, Doctor Octopus, and even James Bond enemies were all super villains. And they all had enough gadgets to attempt to stymie Superman, Captain Marvel, Spiderman, and James Bond.

What if some of those illegal lab scientists choose to go totally rogue? We have no superheroes that might match them power to power. We would be helpless to stop their advanced sprees of crime.

This would be incredibly lucrative. The supervillain scientist might have a monopoly on certain powers and could easily break into any bank. So where are the supervillain scientists?

My feeling is that morally suspect scientists are deliberately enlisted to work for the various militaries of the world. They are lured with higher pay than other scientists and are kept by the spy service and military they serve.

What superpowers have been developed? Full scale war between the developed world and other strong militaries hasn’t happened since World War 2. The only way we would find out what powers have been developed would be by risking nuclear war. So maybe we’ll never know what powers have been developed.

So the potential supervillains remain part of the military. Perhaps that’s the only “safe” place to keep them.

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A Seemingly Simple Prediction

The current generation of children may have shorter lifespans than their parents. This was reported far and wide earlier this year so I wouldn’t be surprised if you had heard it already.

Predicting the future is notoriously difficult and I’m going to work on this prediction with things we know only a few months later. Remember we have over 60 years of advances and changes to deal with, so excuse me if I don’t bet on this prediction.

The first point I would like to bring up is smoking. Anti smoking propaganda in school and at young ages keeps that known life expectancy shrinker at lower levels than for the people in older age groups.

And the children who do unfortunately get addicted to smoking? They know the health risks for their entire lives and thus are more likely to quit at some later date.

The reason they are predicting shorter life expectancies for today’s youth is simply because of increased levels of obesity. Obesity does bring up the odds of premature death, but smoking doubles even those high odds. It’s still worth quitting smoking in middle age even though often that leads to weight gain.

The second reason I think the reduced life expectancy prediction might not pan out is because of a cure of type 2 diabetes for mice. That’s right I said a cure.

It may be complex to translate this to humans but how about we give it 20 years. Yup. That’ll be on time for today’s youth. And you guessed it, obesity causes more type 2 diabetes and type 2 diabetes shortens your life for a number of reasons. Without this killer illness, maybe half the premature deaths could be halted.

We should also promote exercise as well. It might not sound like much to you, but putting motion into today’s video games like Wii and Kinects have done has potential for so much good. Imagine if we could get kids to do the recommended 2 hours of movement a day. Granted these systems have room for improvement but they are a start in the right direction. More exercise because of movement gaming means fewer obese young people.

Have you got predictions that have 77 years to go before fruition? Air them here. Perhaps we’ll let it go. But more likely we’ll show the larger likelihood of opposing truths.

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