It’s True That Men Can’t Give Birth

It is true that men can’t give birth. It’s been the topic of whiny self examination before and I expect it to rear it’s head in the future, too. Women tell us we just can’t understand. We men nod our heads, obediently hiding our true thoughts.

Those true thoughts are of large, dense fecal forms which we sometimes pass when we are on the throne. Women have naysayed such a comparison, explaining that they have passed those same fecal forms and it is nothing like giving birth.

Do women truly know what they speak of? It could just be a play to make us have more sympathy for women.

Some of the men agreeing with me have gone through Lamaze classes and coached, supported and been beside their wives through the whole birth process.

And when these men were passing that rare massive turd, I have reason to believe they were thinking about those Lamaze classes. How to breath and other pain lessening approaches aided them in their own time of need.

Even though defecating is considered the ultimate private activity, I think great need creates great exception. Those husbands wouldn’t mind having their wives by their side, coaching and supporting them just as they coached their wives through child birth. .

And finally, after safe passage has occurred, do not all men turn around and look at their creation? Society (and cleanliness) prevents us from admiring and, say, measuring our creations.

It is with a heavy heart that we reach for the flush lever. All the while thinking of that old joke: “What’s the difference between the leader and a toilet full of $#!+”? The answer of course is, “the toilet”.

Our creation had so much potential, we men think as we flush the toilet. Finally all traces of our creation are gone. Except for maybe a lingering smell. The only thing allowing us men to get on with our day is knowing that tomorrow we will make another creation.

About Larry Russwurm

Just another ranter on the Internet
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