Larry Russwurm – the Rapping DJ

I’ve always wanted to be a part of the music industry and now I think I have solved the mystery of how to be signed and trendy. I will call myself ‘the rapping DJ’.

Before watching the Ellen show a couple weeks ago, I would have hesitated to use the word ‘rapper’ to describe my style. But they had a young fellow on there and introduced him as a rapper and he sang a song. As he started to sing I said to myself ‘oh he’ll rap a a chorus or maybe a stanza’. I listened to the song all the way through and he didn’t rap anything.

Then I got to thinking about Drake and that he has put out music without any rapping whatsoever on it. He has complained that it is put in the rap category regardless. Since Drake outsells normal singers 2:1, I think this is a bankable injustice.

DJs also get caught not DJing. Moby made a lot of money selling his music. As did Fatboy Slim. As did the late Avicii. Ostensibly these three were DJs who ended up making millions off of normal music.

I guess, to the young ear, DJ is just a buzz word meaning cool. Rapping, too, has come to mean cool as well.

Just like Drake, those DJ musicians outsell normal musicians at roughly a 2:1 rate. So I think I will combine the two titles and hopefully outsell good musicians at a 4:1 rate.

Some might ask about my rapping skills. I will just say that I have been an unmetered, non rhyming rapper for 52 years. As for my DJ skills, I have, of course DJed with two turntables, a mixer and the whole bit. Because it wasn’t in public means nothing at all. I will say that I don’t wish to sully my skills by showing them off.

Then, to make sure no one is judging my rapping abilities by song lyrics, I will make sure I have no song lyrics. That is, I will put out instrumentals.

Really I think the sky is the limit for my music. I will make it true with my new titles.

About Larry Russwurm

Just another ranter on the Internet
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