The Southwestern Ontario Elephant

As you can see, southwestern Ontario looks much like an elephant with a broken spear sticking out of its chest.

We can locate certain cities by their position on the elephant. Windsor is the tip of the nose or the elephant’s hand. Goderich is the back, London the neck, and Niagara Falls is the toe.

But some positions on the elephant seem to say something about the city or town. Sarnia can brag that it is the brain of the elephant. Kitchener or Brantford can argue who is the heart of the elephant. I live in Kitchener, thus Kitchener is the heart of the southwestern Ontario elephant.

There are more negative places to be. Hamilton would be the armpit of the elephant. And sadly Wiarton or Owen Sound would be the @$$hole of the elephant.  We might have to put it to a vote. And if we had a vote, the much larger Owen Sound would likely $#!+ all over the smaller Wiarton  thus proving that Owen Sound is the true @$$hole of the elephant.

And St. Thomas? It is also on the vulnerable neck of the elephant. And St. Thomas is where Jumbo the Elephant died in 1885 by being hit by a train. It is truly a vulnerable spot for an elephant.